A new man

Hey y'all, I just came back from Vegas. I went to the rapport leadership program and the experience I gained there was AMAZING. I came out to my mom for starters, after much build up, I finally came out, which lifted a tremendous weight off of my shoulders. Then I went to the program and there I learned about my fear, fear of risk, fear of living, fear of being rejected. I punched through my blocks and I am filled with a new confidence and zest for life! I'm grabbing life by the balls ladies and gents and I'm holding on tight! No stopping me! 

Another Rejection

On Friday the fourteenth of this year I went on a "non" date with a boy I met at Starbucks. It was a non date because he didn't celebrate valentines day, which I completely respect. This was our third date and I was planning on telling him how I felt. The holiday wasn't significant of that choice, I was planning on doing that on what ever day. Anyways I get to his place, we hot tub for a little and were joined by some other folks. We left and went back to his appartment. He let me shower and borrow some of his clothes. We then decided to watch the princess bride and eat popcorn. I then gave him a back massage as we watched the movie. When the movie was over, I confessed how nervous I was about the date. When he asked why I told him I really liked him and was hoping that this could evolve into something more. I also said the R word.... Relationship. Once it came out of my mouth I felt pretty stupid and that I possibly scared him off. He told me he enjoyed hanging out with me but he didn't know where he'd be in three years and couldn't promise anything. I won't lie and say I wasn't sad. I felt like I did something wrong again. But I said I liked hanging out with him too and we are still friends. I'm happy for a pleasant outcome but at the same time I can't help but feel I'm doing something wrong when it comes to dating. Everytime I ask for advice, nothing really seems to work. I feel like there's a book on dating that everyone read and perfected in highschool and I missed out. I feel like I'm not good enough to date sometimes. I try not to let it bother me but it does. It really does